I Was Late Because… (Day 59)

Well to be quite honest, i was masturbating. Yes i am a classy lady, i know! But i’m now in the only fifty something days of a year without sex and D Day is gradually getting closer, much to my dissatifaction.

I’m one of those people that is always late to everything (and only just on time to work) it’s bad i know but i swear lateness runs daily through my veins. And the thing is 3/4 of the time i’m late because i’m making myself happy down below. Not exactly something you can tell your friends.
‘Sorry i’m late picking you up for the cinema, i was just using my bullet, all’s good now, i’m at peace with the world’
But this leads me to the question of why? Everyone does it, even women. Men brag about it yet if a woman says this she will be looked at with wide eyes. It’s just something we’re not meant to talk about. It is getting slightly more socially acceptable with Ann Summers parties etc. I seem to get drunk and start telling everyone which vibrator is best, then the next day they whisper to me
‘Did you know what you said last night?’
YES I DO! AND I SHOULDN’T BE ASHAMED! Why can a man openly talk about how he would wank over certain celebrities, where as it just doesn’t sound right for a girl to say;
‘I would so masturbate over Zac Efron’
Sorry i quite like Zac Efron, not in his High Shool Musical days, but have you seen him lately?! If i ever meet him i’m pretty sure i’ll jump on him. And rip off his clothes.

I have had slightly drunk conversations with my girlfriends, most of them have boyfriends so say they don’t have a vibrator etc as they get sex regularly (why not add a bit of fun with one?!). But then there’s my single friends, who i know are lying when they say they don’t masturbate, why feel the need to deny it when i’m saying i do? I know it’s down to how we have been brought up, it’s always been socially acceptable for guys to say they do, but not girls. I’ve had completely sober conversations with girls at work who have all admitted they own vibrators, so why do some of my friends deny it? Especially when i know one or two of them own some. I guess it’s something some girls like to keep to themselves but with the closeness me and my friends have i just wonder why.

I’m not saying girls everywhere should be shouting from the rooftops that they do but a little more honesty in that department? Or maybe it’s just me who speaks freely about that stuff and most of my sexual encounters.

My first orgasm was with a vibrator, not a man. I would highly recommend owning one to any woman. This sounds cheesy but i learnt what i liked and how i liked it. You learn what your body responds to and i personally think it makes sex much better when you know your body well. A little bit of exploration never hurt anyone! I even suggested this to a friend when she was very drunk and said she has never had an orgasm before. She bought one, discovered herself and bobs your uncle! Orgasms galore!

Even women with partners, it can add a bit of spice on those nights your wanting to do something a little different. Or take for instance one of my work friends, her partner hurt his groin quite badly and couldn’t have sex for weeks. He told her to take some time in those two weeks to go upstairs and sort herself out every now and then! Thats love.

My own little motto is ‘masturbating makes everything better’ and you know what? I fully believe that. If i’m having a shit day, i feel 10 times better after. I feel so careless and at peace! If i’m knackered and don’t feel up to going on a night out at the weekend but have promised friends, it wakes me up, i feel raring to go after. The best one is doing it before a night out where i know i don’t want to make a fool out of myself with a guy (especially if i have beer goggles) i sort myself out and the sexual urge is gone for the night! That one is most likely due to the lack of any physical contact with a human being of late.

Anyway some of you might be grossed out by me talking about this, i reckon most women reading this will secretly agree. See it as you wish. I’m not trying to be crude – just to get a topic i’ve wanted to talk about for a while out there! And i can’t exactly do it on facebook. Well i don’t have the balls to do it on facebook.

Day 59 Update – Nothing what so ever apart from oggling Josh Duhammel at the cinema. Yep tonight was the night i was late to the cinema because i was making peace with the world.

About redred100

From the UK with red hair that ruins everything it touches. No white pillow cases/towels please! Take a look at my daily musings: http://www.freemythoughts1.wordpress.com
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2 Responses to I Was Late Because… (Day 59)

  1. dirtythirtydatingtips says:

    You’re totally right. I have a friend who claims she doesn’t masturbate and I find it hard to believe her. Vibrator or not, why not do it?! I was born with fingers, not a sexual mate – I might as well have some fun. Plus, an orgasm definitely helps period cramps and falling asleep 😉 Happy Masturbating!!

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